My Cliff Story - Ali Alexander

In 2018, I experienced what can only be described as a complete breakdown. For the previous ten years, I had moved from job to job, chasing the means to buy all the material things I thought I wanted: a house, a shiny new car, expensive artwork, the latest games consoles, a big TV, and more pairs of shoes than I care to admit. Life had taken me down a path that provided happiness, but only on a very fragile, surface level.

For many years, I had felt God's call to presbyteral ministry, but I resisted it. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to sustain the lifestyle I had become accustomed to.

Ironically, that very lifestyle became my downfall. The stress of my work eventually reached a point where the shallow happiness I had built through material possessions was no longer enough to keep my head above water. Like the proverbial house built on sand, everything came crashing down. I found myself unable to cope with life's pressures and was bed-bound for many weeks.

Yet, it was during that dark period that I finally decided to stop running from God's call. I committed myself wholeheartedly to pursuing ministry and began exploring how to make it happen. That was when I discovered Cliff College.

From the moment I first stepped onto the Cliff campus, I felt at home. The buildings, the surroundings, and, most importantly, the people all gave me a deep sense that this was exactly where God wanted me to be for this season of my life. I would be remiss not to mention the staff, whose warmth, welcome, and genuine interest in my journey made an enormous impression from the very beginning.

So, three years ago, I left the South West, my family, my friends, and—perhaps most painfully—the sea, and moved to the beautiful Peak District.

If I'm honest, I arrived imagining these three years would be something of a holiday. I thought I'd study a little, become a minister, and everything would fall neatly into place. I'm sure it won't surprise anyone to hear that it hasn't quite worked out like that.

While I am delighted to say that I have successfully completed the candidating process and will begin my pre-ordination training this September, my time at Cliff has been anything but easy.

Academia is hard. Theology is hard. Living in a Christian community, while a tremendous privilege, can also be really hard. Over the past three years, I have had to confront just how limited my biblical knowledge and academic abilities really were. My mental health has been tested. I have made mistakes and let people down, even while trying my best to encourage others. I have also experienced the deeply upsetting loss of a fellow student and friend.

Yet, throughout every high and every low, Cliff has remained a constant source of stability and support. It has wrapped around me like a safety blanket, offering pastoral care, academic wisdom, genuine friendship, and a family in Christ whenever I have needed it most.

Although my time here was far from the holiday I had so naively imagined, it has been a season of deep restoration, renewal, and equipping. Or, as Cliff's vision so beautifully puts it, a season of being equipped to be an 'Ambassador of Joyful News'.

Before coming here, years spent in demanding and, at times, cut-throat workplaces had shaped me into someone who wore a hard exterior. I often hid behind an image of confidence because it felt safer than allowing people to see the real me. Trust came sparingly, reserved only for those in my inner circle.

Cliff has gently thawed that part of me. Through this community, God has reminded me that I don't need to hide behind masks or pretence. I am safe to be myself because I am, as the Psalmist writes, 'fearfully and wonderfully made'. I have been reminded that I am loved exactly as I am by a God who knows me completely, delights in me deeply, and has been faithfully preparing me for the life and ministry to which He has called me.

As I now prepare for the next stage of my journey, I look back with immense gratitude for all that Cliff has been to me:

* A place of safety

* A place of challenge

* A place of growth

* A place of friendship

* A place of fellowship

* A place where I encountered God

Cliff has not simply prepared me for ministry; it has helped God rebuild me into the person He is calling me to become.